A girl named Isis
by HookahSocialism
Summary: Morty meets a foreign exchange student and falls inlove with her.


Morty is at school staring off into space bored and depressed, when the teacher announces they have a transfer student. Her name is Isis and to treat her just like any other classmate.

"On second thought...DONT treat her like you treat one another. We want the state schoolboard to give us revenue so treat this stupid brown girl from some backward country like she is God damn princess Jasmine!"

Morty immediately notices how cute she is and kind of does look like princess Jasmine and as she sits next to him in class she smiles at him and all sorts of emotions circulate.

A few weeks go by and as Rick is tinkering in the garage he raises his head.

"Shits been too quiet..Morty (belch) Morty is gonna get himself killed I can smell it."

Rick farts.

"Or maybe its that OOOOH WUBALUBBADUBDUB AM I RIGHT?! Haha...I said am I...oh wait Morty isnt there. Jesus where the hell is that little faggot?"

Rick looks all around the house for Morty and finds him just in his room on the laptop.

"Oh h...hey Rick."

"Dont hey Rick me you little shit. Whats going on? You havent been worming around and we havent gone on any (belch) adventures!"

"Geez Rick...I just...I've just been busy you know? Oh geez Rick this Isis girl at school. Shes great Rick, shes great!"

"Oh boy here we go...Morty havent I told you (belch!) about the awalt principle? Go on a mgtow forum sometime Morty! You arent the only one chasing unicorns! Hell we've SEEN a legitimate unicorn but never a decent woman!"

"This one is different Rick! She...shes smart, shes funny, shes kind...she makes me feel good about myself unlike you!"

"Than she's a liar Morty. All women lie...you're a piece of shit. Hell I'M a piece of shit. (belch) and thats ok Morty...but we gotta...we gotta look out for eachother Morty or some other pieces of shit. Their stink will dominate the toilet of life and we'll be swimming in THEIR toilet bowl not our own. You get me Morty?"

"Geez Rick...what are you...what are you even talking about Rick? Look, Ive made Isis a fanpage on Facebook to show how much she means to me."

Artsy photos of Isis with flowers, glitter, and self motivational quotes.

"Wow Morty this is...(belch) this is legitimately bad. Like...im actually dissapointed in you Morty."

"Oh shutup Rick! You just...you're just a bitter oldman!"

"Yikes Morty. Watch the potty mouth this is a kids show."

All of a sudden Morty is getting a bunch of likes to his page.

"See Morty? Your hoe of the day is liked by a bunch of dudes...whats to stop her from getting with any of these guys over you?"

"You're not going to upset me this time Rick...checkout these guys profiles. They have no desire to be her boyfriend. They are family."

"Several hundred people (beeelch) in a third world country are family to this foreign exchange student and on Facebook Morty?"

"Well look! They are all being very supportive of me! Even rooting for me to have sex with her! A...a better wingman than you ever were Rick!"

Rick squints his eyes to read.

(I hope you get into Isis.)

(You can be our brother in Isis.)

(Isis loves you Morty. I hope you love Isis too.)

Rick looks at Morty and back at the screen...

"I hang around a fourteen year old boy and have seen him naked several times and even I'm a little worried the FBI is gonna be on my ass over this one...wubbalubba not so dubdub."

"What are you on about Rick?"

"Morty you're page dedicated to some stupid foreign exchange student is an Isis page!"

"I know...Isis helped me..."

"Nooo you idiot! I mean the terrorist group Isis!"

"Wait what?! Oh geez Rick...are you sure?!"

"What do you think these beheading videos are Morty?! They say destroy those who disgrace Isis!"

"I thought they were white knight manginas like you said Rick!"

"Ok (belch) that is a good point...but no! The flags Morty. The flags have squiggly lines. ALL TERRORIST GROUPS WRITE IN SQUIGGLY LINES MORTY!"

"Oh geez Rick! I...I'm not a terrorist! Am I...Am I gonna go to jail?"

"You dont go to jail fot terrorism Morty! You go to Guantamo. Which totally doesnt exist anymore because we are sooo progressive and it's the current year and voted for a black guy (belch!)"

"Oh Geez Rick what do I do?!"

"Relax Morty... if you were legally liable for shit you post online you couldnt be getting banned from Reddit like you do."

(Morty posts about Undertale being kind of mediocre.)

(Gets banned from the subreddit for videogames.)

(Messages the mods how that was unfair and immature that he was just stating his opinion and if they cant be adults about it how do they expect to run a website?)

(Banned from the entirety of reddit for "harassing moderators".)

"Did...did we just do a cut take like Family Guy Rick?"

"You're running a pro-Isis page Morty...we're delving into some quantum edgelord stuff here."

"So...so Im not gonna go to jail or Guantanamo or?"

"God damn it Morty. Y...you're a little bitch you know that Morty? L...like your government doesn't know every minute detail about you? Its trolls Morty. Governments of the world troll you, they troll me, they troll eachother. Little shits like reddit bitch and whine about trolls but trolls run the world Morty! They have too...they have to keep you guessing, keep you bamboozled, make you afraid of your own God damn shadow that if you step out of line you'll go to bad people jail WHEN LIFE IS JAIL MORTY! LIFE IS FUCKING TERRIBLE AND (beeelch) FULL OF REGRETS AND PAIN. Whats the big difference between you getting up for work and school vs you getting up in prison do pickup trash? Whats the difference between pizza Thursday at school vs meatloaf Friday at prison? Your life is a prison Morty...the biggest troll of all was that your government told you you can escape!"

"Oh geez Rick...that that sounds deep and existential and all but I don't wanna be labled as a terrorist! I dont even like to pray before dinner. Let alone need a compass to pray seven times a day!"

"Than you know what you gotta do Morty? You gotta...you gotta blame Facebook!"

"Facebook Rick?"

"Yeah Morty. (belch!) Its all Facebook's fault. I mean they ban you right? They think they have the legal authority to ban you cause its a private website right? Than its their liability Morty...just stick to your guns and refuse any legal responsibility. If your retard government wants to individually hold you accountable than mods should be in jail for bans of all kinds. Its assault and discrimination Morty..."

"Oh Geez Rick...that that wont help me if Im on some watchlist!"

"Sure it will Morty! (belch) You'll be entitled to financial reperations and civil relief. All the Facebook and Reddit money will belong to you Morty! Than...(belch!) than you could just play video games all day in the fancy side of Guantanamo by bribery Morty!"

"Geez Rick...that sounds pretty much like my life now except with no hope of a future."

"HOPE IS A SHIT-POST MORTY DON'T YOU GET IT?! ISIS IS FEEDING YOU FALSE HOPE!!!"

"Isis the girl or Isis the terrorist group?"

"Exactly Morty! Fucking exactly! God you're dumb..."

Rick farts and it smells really bad and he starts to chuckle.

"Geez Rick!"

"Heheheh...dont interrogate him for that gas bomb that was all this guy!!!"


End file.
